So... it's been a busy month...

Saw Ange today. She yelled at me for not updating my blog. Ok, not yelled but it has been a month or so. My job at the church rocks. I really enjoy working with the staff there and the work I'm doing. In the last month I've learned about how to run our software, entered the budget, made policy decisions about finances, entered contributions, learned payroll, accounts payable, taxes for ministers, managing membership profiles, etc. It's some pretty epic stuff.

I'm still looking for some additional part time work to supplement what I get from the church. I've applied a bunch of banks and the zoo. Yeah, the zoo needs some sort of Audit Teller for part time work. I mean, hey, it's the zoo.

Found out my sister's having a boy. I finally get a nephew. I love all of my nieces, but I'm very excited to have a nephew. I got him a onesie with a Jolly Roger on it from www.piratemerch.com. It's the most adorable little hardcore thing I've ever seen. Brady the Pirate will be awesome. Not much else going on.

And the final insult is...

Met the new personal banker for the 123rd branch yesterday. This is a position that I had applied for and never got an interview. Not only is it an outside hire, which is insulting, they also got the guy from Champion's Run Country Club, and he's had no banking experience. It took all of me not to walk out yesterday. I'm just worried about all the places I apply at calling here and getting a bad report from the bank here. Because it's clear to me that they think very little of me here at the bank. Had to keep in mind what our assistant pastor Doug wisely said. He said leaving with grace was more important than when I started at Core, since the bank knew I was leaving to work at a church. It's a good point, and a good thing to do. But as I've said before, good things are often a pain in the butt. Last bank day today!

I got a raise!

...and then I asked them to cut my hours.

Let me esplain. For the last few weeks I've been talking with my church, Core Community about first being their administrative coordinator and then when I had an initial interview with Doug, our new assistant pastor, he mentioned the financial coordinator was open as well, and asked if I would be interested. After a few interviews and such they offered me the positions, 15 hours a week as Administrative and Financial Coordinator. I've accepted and am attempting to get down to thirty hours a week so I can work the job at Core, keep my benefits at the bank and work enough so I don't have to starve. If the bank can't give me the schedule I need... there are other banks in town. I'm even famous now. Check my picture here.

Update: The bank won't let me drop to 30 hours, so I gave my notice. Core is far more important to me than a replacable bank job.

The Battle for Shangri-La

Last night, Dave, Don and I (we're roommates) were watching Chuck on the interwebs using my computer. The door leading up to the finished section of our attic is directly across the landing from my room. We've had a critter in the unfinished portion of the attic and we'll hear him moving around or squeaking, but always through the walls and such. Last night we heard a squeak traveling through the medium of air instead of walls or floors.

So we freak out a bit. We all move towards the stairs, I stop, go to the longsword that I have beside my bookcase. I draw it, and lead the way upstairs. I make a racket, turn on the lights that go up the stairs. We hesitate at the small landing, attic lightswitch just out of reach with my arm and my sword. I hold my postition at the stairs while Don and Dave are grabbing weapons. Don gets his War Club (a metal-studded piece of wood) and declares us ready. I tell him to grab me a shield. He barrels downstairs, grabs three shields and his Falchion (a sword primarily used for chopping that is very sharp) and tosses Dave his club. So Dave is at the foot of the stairs with the War Club and a shield, I'm at the top of the stairs with my sword and a shield. Don is on the landing with me with sword and shield. We move up.

I'll tell the rest of the story after I handle this busy stretch at the bank.

And we're back!

So we move up. Don and I with swords in hand, shields strapped to our arms. We get halfway up the steps and I'm able to reach up and hit the lightswitch. The room is flooded with light and we see...

potential. There are boxes piled up on the left side of me. That side is also closer to the board that is the door between the finished and unfinished portions of the attic. There are less boxes on the right side of the room. There is also a chewed up thing in the middle of the room. Some little curtain hanger. Don watches the left side of the room for movement while I poke around the right side of the room with my sword to see if the little varmit is in there. Nothing.

I sweep to the left side. I put down my shield and begin picking up boxes with my sword at the ready to see if he's hiding behind anything. At one point I'm picking boxes up behind the wall for this closet area that happens to also be three feet from the unfinished attic. I startle and yell, "Oh, CRAP!" and then, "Just kidding!" Dave yells a disapproving "Dude!" from downstairs and Don assures me I almost got impaled in the thigh. They weren't terribly impressed. He's nowhere in the attic.

We find a catch and release trap in up there and we set it up. It's broken, so we're not overly convinced it's going to work, but we decide we'll put it in there anyway. Don readies the trap, I stand with the door blocked, ready to take the board away, gently set the trap in (the trap and door are each about a foot wide) and take out my hand and replace the trap. The trap is set. I pick up the trap, pull the board away, put the trap in there. Immediately, it springs. We can't tell if it sprung because there's a critter in it or it just went off by itself. We rig up a light to see inside the attic and see that it just set itself off. After a couple more tries we finally get it in and set up.

We set the board back up and stack these heavy wood boxes that Don has in the attic up so they are blocking the board. Then I put a bunch of tubs behind those and between the two things they stretch the four feet across the closet.

We plan on allying ourselves with an extermination service to complete our victory. It was an exciting night.

My sister... is a genius.

And not just for her very poignant warnings about Waffle House.

A couple weeks back I was having lunch with my roommate's family. Dave has two nephews, 3 years and... 4 months, I believe. Maybe less. shoot, I dunno. But the 3 year old wouldn't eat his chili. They tried telling him to, and warning him about the consequences, etc. Then I decided I'd borrow an idea from Ange, the Family Bite. So I spooned up some chili, said "Hey, Ethan, I'm gonna take a bite of chili. Want to take a bite at the same time?" Dave and Jason, Ethan's dad, also grabbed a bite. Ethan made sure he ate his bite before anyone else. Ethan ate well the rest of the meal, mostly at the prompting of the people at the table.

The Family Bite works. And my sister is a genius (not that that was ever in doubt).

Who the crap is Xenu?

Xenu, according to L. Ron Hubbard, is the galactic overlord that has conquered the galaxy and has killed many aliens. He needed a dumping ground for the spirits of the deceased aliens so he came to earth and released them here. They inhabited the existing animals, jumpstarted evolution, and now these alien spirits, or Thetans, inhabit us. They are the cause of depression, ill feelings, insecurity, violence, hate, etc. Any local Scientology center can give you a Thetan count and help you rid yourself of them, mostly through vitamins and such.

We have a friend who said, in regards to this, that Christianity has some weird beliefs as well. My response to this (alas I only heard it secondhand) is that while Christianity has incredible beliefs, the lynchpin of our faith, that being the bodily resurrection of Christ, is based on history. Even Bhuddism and Islam and Judaism are based on historical people doing actions. Bhudda sat under a tree, Muhammed started a religion, and, well, I believe the people in the OT did what they did, but there was still an historical Moses, David, etc.

There's a book called "In search of the historical Christ." Such a book exists because there was an historical Christ. The idea of an historical Xenu is rediculous, thus I and my friends found my header funny.

Need a new header!

My old one, while funny to me and select others, bores me now.

So submit funny, nonsensical, awesome, profound statements and I'll take the one I like the best as my new header. You five people that read my blog, ready.... go!